Do you find that some relationships are energizing and others are draining? 

Likely most are somewhere on the scale between, “I can’t wait to see you again!!” and “Why do I continue to show up?” but suffice to say you can spend the same 30 minutes in a conversation but 30 minutes with someone who is on the same frequency as you whooshes by whereas 30 minutes with someone who is operating on a different vibration can feel like eternity.  You’ll walk away from one encounter a foot of the ground and the other, dragging.

I started asking myself, “Is it them or is it me?”  For a while I simply recognized differences in values or beliefs and chalked it up to not being on the same page however it became apparent that some well-meaning people regularly took advantage of my patience, allowance, or acceptance with disrespectful acts. Taking out their moods, cancelling last-minute (or not showing up entirely), ignoring financial obligations, weighing heavier in the taking department with little giving, being inconsiderate, etc., became routine.

I became aware that they did not act in this way with everyone….so I concluded it must be me.

Aha! ~ You’re always teaching people how to treat you.

We attract and allow in our lives what is inline with our own beliefs and self-worth. 

In The Power of Intention by Dr. Wayne Dyer, he explores how our intentions and energy align with what we invite – and allow - into our lives.

Psychology suggests that people respond to the behaviours we reinforce consciously or unconsciously. Kids learn early that if they act out, their mom or dad will stop everything to tend to them…especially in a public place.  If a child is quietly imagineering or respectfully minding themself, they may not get that same kind of attention.  If you overlook mistreatment, entertain it or fail to address it directly for what it is, you unintentionally “teach” people how to behave toward you. 

It’s about having clarity on boundaries because, like a natural stream, we need to allow energy to flow, and for anything misaligned to pass on by.  However, being grounded in self-worth, respect and values, the energy that you allow to flow to and through you deservingly mirrors that. 

You owe it to yourself to be accountable for setting standards in all relationships then practicing turning egoic reactions into self-honoring responses. 

“Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.”  ~ Brene Brown

Speaking of flow and letting go, we will be deep-diving on Chapter #46 of 50 Simple Ways to Release the Shackles of Self-Sabotage, entitled, “Never Buy a Suitcase for Guilt Trips”.  Join the conversation Wednesday in Human U.