YES is such an inviting word.

YES is full of possibility, opens new doors and relationships, encourages risk-taking and a trust-based approach to life.  We love hearing YES to an invitation, receiving a new piece of business, securing an enrolment, achieving a goal or anything positive about our health.

NO on the other hand can feel like an iron gate just slammed down.

NO is likely the word we heard most growing up.  NO was all about restrictions. In many cases, NO was meant to keep us safe but often delivered disappointment.

Not wanting to condition my son with NO, I found ways to sneak YES in there.

“Can we go to the park?” “Yes, but later.”

“Can I sleep over at Andrew’s?”     “Yes, but not tonight.”

“Can I have a hug?”       “Yes”       … okay, so that one was always a YES 😊 but it meant that NO had more power because it wasn’t a routine conversation-stopper or control mechanism.  There was room for growth or potential in a YES-with-an-explanation statement so NO was saved for moral, legal and safety issues.

We don’t like to hear NO but sometimes NO is the right answer. 

Can NO be a sign of decisiveness and boundaries? Can we draw a surge of strength from using the word NO without feeling guilty?

Aha! ~  Setting limits can set you free.

“Wielded wisely, No is an instrument of integrity and a shield against exploitation.” ~ Judith Sills PhD., Psychology Today

“No, I can’t babysit your kids today.”

“No, I won’t be joining your committee this year.”

“No, I can’t accept your proposal at that price.”

When your needs take priority, you are not in agreement with the request, or moral ground is challenged, NO is a solid answer.  Find the power of NO in disallowing influence away from what is important to you.

“It takes true courage and real humility to say no.” – Ernest Agyemang Yeboah